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Encouraging use of library. Forgiveness is not for the other people, it's for ourselves. Forgiving and accepting doesn't equal approval. We can accept a situation and still choose to remove ourselves from it.

In the past when I have had to forgive others, I think of situations in which I have needed forgiveness, and I know since I am human, I will need forgiveness in the future.

When I see my own faults, it is easier to forgive. Also, anger, for me, is a secondary emotion, it is natural to fear losing friends, but as you stated, if they are that easily lost, they probably weren't really true friends.

Taking the high road has never failed me, not acting out in anger will win out in the long run and I think people will see past the rumors given time.

I disagree with this advice. The consequences of the changes in relationships among your group are clear; their motives and actions are not, and trying to confront someone about them will likely make things worse.

Imagine that, on top of a lot of conscious or unconscious trash talk about you, there's a bright, vivid incident to recount in which you "attacked" your ex.

It's not even clear that the ex and new girlfriend are trash talking you--perhaps your mutual friends are just picking up on bad vibes and imaging the worst, or a gossipy third is taking the ex's relative silence to confirm a lot of rumours that the third wants to believe.

A situation like this isn't like weeding a garden where you just need to get your hands dirty. Talking out relationship issues with others presumes a good faith desire on everyone's part to clear the air and repair things, and you've got pretty good evidence right now that such desire doesn't exist.

I'll n th forgiving everyone so you can let go of your obsession and get on with your life, wiser than before. And forgiveness doesn't mean talking to them either, it means an internal decision to forgive them and to disallow bad feelings on your part.

Then get on with your life. The good ones from the group will come back to you; the ones not worth keeping won't, and that's no loss for you. From your question, you seem to have a pretty clear and sensible rational view on what's going on.

Keep coming back to that when you start thinking about the situation and your emotions will catch up with it. Forgiveness is a start. But I've been in a similar position, dumped on for no good reason by social contacts.

Fortunately, I had a lot of people I talked to about it who assured me that they were in the wrong in terms of their behavior, being bad friends.

I was able to forgive them and understand why they screwed our friendship over, but for two years, I often had anxious feelings about it, without even being in contact with them.

I worried over it a lot. Why did this happen to me? Why why why? That kind of thing. Mean people suck that way.

Anyway, my advice is, forgive, then give yourself time to heal. Lean on those who love you for support and assurance.

Finally, don't try to rush yourself into getting over it. That's the last thing I've managed to learn -- like me, you're a person who cares about other people and what they think.

It's not a bad thing to be compassionate, it's just more difficult than being aloof. Do you really want to be the kind of person that doesn't mourn lost relationships?

Just accept yourself as you are, angry, sad, whatever. When you start ruminating on them, distract yourself with something else, but don't berate youself for it.

You're the ex. That's how it works, this is perfectly normal and has been going on for thousands of years. He got custody of the friends.

Check out a wrap-up and the promised hair cut video! There's this couple who are real jerks to me and it bothers me more than I think it should.

I dated the male half for a while, that ended badly a year and a half ago but we managed to stay friendly. This has cost me friends.

I am reserved, they are outgoing I am often told how amazing the new girl is. She's cold to me, but I dated her boy, I can understand it.

It's easy to see whose side anyone would take. I'm not really concerned about the lost friends - if they believe the rumors, they're not people I want as friends.

I'm willing to write the whole group off as a loss, but it comes down to that couple. I spend a lot of time thinking about how much pain they've caused me and how much I hate them.

It's not helpful or productive, it just ruins my day and makes me hard to be around. I feel like it's becoming some kind of sick obsession and I need to put and end to it.

How can I stop wallowing in self-pity and anger about this? How can I just get over it? I realize this sounds like a teen problem, but we're all in our late 20s.

For your own mental health, you need to let go of your hate. In order to do that, you need to forgive them. Forgiveness is a decision you have to make.

It is like to over-simplify flipping a switch in your mind. I will no longer hate them, instead I will let it go. I will try to understand their weakness and flaws, which would cause them to do this.

Carrying around hate is a heavy burden. It will wear you down. Forgiveness is the answer. As I am in my late 50s, you late 20s people still seem pretty young to me.

Your old circle of friends didn't work out, get new friends. That's pretty much it. Recognize that we live in a crazy world with many irrational or otherwise unpleasant people in it, and our challenge is to live a happy and successful life anyway.

Don't let the bastards grind you down as the saying goes - in bastardized latin, illigitimi non carborundum. Another useful addage: living well is the best revenge.

You can have a good life in spite of those false friends. Are you absolutely sure they are sprreading rumors and ostracizing? If so, why don't you confront he boyfriend?

Call him up now. See if you can talk it out and find out what the snit is about. Then go to your closest friends in the circle and tell them that you've had it out with the boyfriend and you want to set the record straight with a few other people.

Then you've got to hold your head up and try to pretend it never happened. Cultivate better and closer relationships with those you like most and see where that goes.

If there's no one in the group that you feel that way about then it's time to move on.

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Forgiveness is the answer. As I am in my late 50s, you late 20s people still seem pretty young to me. Your old circle of friends didn't work out, get new friends.

That's pretty much it. Recognize that we live in a crazy world with many irrational or otherwise unpleasant people in it, and our challenge is to live a happy and successful life anyway.

Don't let the bastards grind you down as the saying goes - in bastardized latin, illigitimi non carborundum.

Another useful addage: living well is the best revenge. You can have a good life in spite of those false friends. Are you absolutely sure they are sprreading rumors and ostracizing?

If so, why don't you confront he boyfriend? Call him up now. See if you can talk it out and find out what the snit is about.

Then go to your closest friends in the circle and tell them that you've had it out with the boyfriend and you want to set the record straight with a few other people.

Then you've got to hold your head up and try to pretend it never happened. Cultivate better and closer relationships with those you like most and see where that goes.

If there's no one in the group that you feel that way about then it's time to move on. Ok, first off having a few vent sessions vocally or just internally is perfectly fine.

I do it about some things that have bothered me before. It's normal. And you're right, if people are just going to believe rumors than it's fine to let them go.

Find something else to occupy your time. Preferably something that takes a lot of mental energy. Finally, you just have to let it go. I'm not going to say that you have to forgive, but you do have to realize that it just doesn't matter and let it go.

Which might be a way of forgiving without admitting you've forgiven, and is definitely easier said than done. Agreeing with the people that say forgive.

Forgiveness is not for the other people, it's for ourselves. Forgiving and accepting doesn't equal approval. We can accept a situation and still choose to remove ourselves from it.

In the past when I have had to forgive others, I think of situations in which I have needed forgiveness, and I know since I am human, I will need forgiveness in the future.

When I see my own faults, it is easier to forgive. Also, anger, for me, is a secondary emotion, it is natural to fear losing friends, but as you stated, if they are that easily lost, they probably weren't really true friends.

Taking the high road has never failed me, not acting out in anger will win out in the long run and I think people will see past the rumors given time.

I disagree with this advice. The consequences of the changes in relationships among your group are clear; their motives and actions are not, and trying to confront someone about them will likely make things worse.

Imagine that, on top of a lot of conscious or unconscious trash talk about you, there's a bright, vivid incident to recount in which you "attacked" your ex.

It's not even clear that the ex and new girlfriend are trash talking you--perhaps your mutual friends are just picking up on bad vibes and imaging the worst, or a gossipy third is taking the ex's relative silence to confirm a lot of rumours that the third wants to believe.

A situation like this isn't like weeding a garden where you just need to get your hands dirty. Talking out relationship issues with others presumes a good faith desire on everyone's part to clear the air and repair things, and you've got pretty good evidence right now that such desire doesn't exist.

It only ever affects one enemy at a time. In the hands of a one-star Meister, Rinzler can critically damage a kishin egg with this ability.

The power will grown with experience, and by the star level of the Meister. By the time Rinzler is a Death Scythe and his Meister three stars, they should be able to take out a witch with this ability.

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Nothing learned. Naruto : Abandoned. Rinzler is not from the communicator. In the past when I have had to forgive others, I think of situations in which I have needed forgiveness, and I know since I am human, I will need forgiveness in the future.

When I see my own faults, it is easier to forgive. Also, anger, for me, is a secondary emotion, it is natural to fear losing friends, but as you stated, if they are that easily lost, they probably weren't really true friends.

Taking the high road has never failed me, not acting out in anger will win out in the long run and I think people will see past the rumors given time.

I disagree with this advice. The consequences of the changes in relationships among your group are clear; their motives and actions are not, and trying to confront someone about them will likely make things worse.

Imagine that, on top of a lot of conscious or unconscious trash talk about you, there's a bright, vivid incident to recount in which you "attacked" your ex.

It's not even clear that the ex and new girlfriend are trash talking you--perhaps your mutual friends are just picking up on bad vibes and imaging the worst, or a gossipy third is taking the ex's relative silence to confirm a lot of rumours that the third wants to believe.

A situation like this isn't like weeding a garden where you just need to get your hands dirty. Talking out relationship issues with others presumes a good faith desire on everyone's part to clear the air and repair things, and you've got pretty good evidence right now that such desire doesn't exist.

I'll n th forgiving everyone so you can let go of your obsession and get on with your life, wiser than before.

And forgiveness doesn't mean talking to them either, it means an internal decision to forgive them and to disallow bad feelings on your part.

Then get on with your life. The good ones from the group will come back to you; the ones not worth keeping won't, and that's no loss for you.

From your question, you seem to have a pretty clear and sensible rational view on what's going on. Keep coming back to that when you start thinking about the situation and your emotions will catch up with it.

Forgiveness is a start. But I've been in a similar position, dumped on for no good reason by social contacts.

Fortunately, I had a lot of people I talked to about it who assured me that they were in the wrong in terms of their behavior, being bad friends.

I was able to forgive them and understand why they screwed our friendship over, but for two years, I often had anxious feelings about it, without even being in contact with them.

I worried over it a lot. Why did this happen to me? Why why why? That kind of thing. Mean people suck that way. Anyway, my advice is, forgive, then give yourself time to heal.

Lean on those who love you for support and assurance. Finally, don't try to rush yourself into getting over it. That's the last thing I've managed to learn -- like me, you're a person who cares about other people and what they think.

It's not a bad thing to be compassionate, it's just more difficult than being aloof. Do you really want to be the kind of person that doesn't mourn lost relationships?

Just accept yourself as you are, angry, sad, whatever. When you start ruminating on them, distract yourself with something else, but don't berate youself for it.

You're the ex. That's how it works, this is perfectly normal and has been going on for thousands of years. He got custody of the friends.

You had visitation rights for awhile, but now things have changed. I would look at it like this: the time will come, after you have removed yourself from the situation, that the new GF will cause drama, and the people who ostracized you for being the "EX" will get in touch.

They will want to bitch and moan about this person, and expect you to join in.

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